Over the Hill -40yr- Old Folks Gag Gifts
Kathy in Bossier City, Louisiana USA
Over The Hill Birthday Party
As my sister Sherry and her husband Eugene returned from church on the day of her 40th birthday, she was greeted by a grand "Surprise" and a traditional round of the Happy Birthday song. When she recovered from the shock of seeing her children, nieces and nephews, sisters, brother, sister-in-law and brother-in-laws and parents all gathered to remember her special day the real party began. First the children serenaded Sherry with a special song written by their grandmother and sung to the toon of Mary Had A Little Lamb. This song can easily be adapted to suit any over the hill person. "Aunt Sherry is the birthday girl, the birthday girl, the birthday girl, Aunt Sherry is the birthday girl, and she's getting very old. We'll always help her cross the street, cross the street, cross the street, We'll always help her cross the street, Because we love her so.
Next was a very well planned slide show our parents had spent many hours preparing. Several slides of Sherry from a baby to an adult were narrated in a very humorous fashion. This was the most special part of the party. Everyone enjoyed seeing pictures from the good old days. Mom and Dad did a great job.
After the slide show my sister, Shelia and I did a little song of our own that the two of us along with my husband, Chad came up with. With just a few minor changes this song would be appropriate for any female. We sang it to the toon of the Brady Bunch. "Here's a story of a blond old lady, who is turning 40 years old, She used to be very sexy, Or that's what we were told. In her young days she was a dream, Now she hides her wrinkles with face cream, No matter how hard you try, you must face it, You'll never be 18. Your getting old, You smell like mold, How does it feel to be 4 decades old??? 14,600 days old (We said this part) Because we were feeling so much younger than our 40 year old sister we added a few dance steps to act out the song. They were very simple and quite comical. Sherry seemed to take it pretty well.
Gag gifts were next. There was a special table just for the gag gifts which were arranged around the over the hill cake. Everyone had put special thought into the gag gifts and they were great. Here are some ideas: A licenses plate that said, "Over the Hill" "I-B-Old" "The Wrinkled State" An extra, extra large pair of granny panties and bra A walking cane Denture cleaner set A certificate that said: In honor of her 40th Birthday, Sherry Rachal has been given a 1 year subscription to Modern Maturity. (We considered a 2 year but were not sure you would live that long). Energy Tabs - A pill bottle that had been filled with candy and a label that read: "Energize Me!" for 40 year olds. Take 2 a day to give you that energy you had when you were young!
Vision Enhancer - A Magnify Glass the attached label said: Vision Enhancer. Research has shown that in the 4th decade of life (WOW! That’s a long time) It becomes very difficult to focus on small things. The vision enhancer makes seeing like it use to be in your 20s.
Directions: Hold over words, pictures or objects you are trying to see. The Boob Belt - a regular belt with a note attached: Support for women in there 40s. After women reach 40 bras no longer work. You now must wear the bra belt. Fasten around the chest area and adjust to your size and buckle. We also manufacture Butt Belts. The "Hell Yes I'm 40 and Still Driving Finger" For some unknown reason (Perhaps due to Arthritis) when people enter the 4th decade of life it becomes difficult to raise your middle finger.
So if you are driving along and someone pisses you off hold this out the window. My husband had drawn a hand with the middle finger pointing up on a 3 foot piece of cardboard. Obviously this last one is not appropriate to present when the children are present. So shoo them off for a little while.
Finally we ended the party with a list of "Games for 40 year Olds" from some place on the Internet:
1. Pin the toupee' on the bald man.
2. Twenty questions shouted into your good ear.
3. Spin the bottle of Mylanta.
4. Musical recliners.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover the nurse says bend over.
6. Sag, your it! After everyone filled up with cake and ice-cream we all did what 40 year olds do best take a nap!!