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Your Not Dead Yet! - Sharing Memories

August 2005

Jayden in Folsom, CA, USA

Your'e Not Dead Yet! Party.  My mother had recently attended a funeral and was wondering what people would say about her when she was gone. 

This gave me the idea of a "Your'e Not Dead Yet" party.  I made invitations much like a funeral program.  The front said,  "Fondly Remembering (mom's name)" with a picture of my mom. Inside gave time, date, place etc., as well as a request of a memory or favorite story to share about my mom. 

All guests were encouraged to wear black and carry tissue boxes.  I put flower arrangements throughout the downstairs and had candles for people to light as they came in. 

We played somber music and kept our voices down just like a funeral.  When all the guests had arrived we started the "service".  We pretended like my mother was not there, although she was sitting up front.  I shared some wonderful memories about her and how she touched my life.  It was really difficult to get through without crying. 

We then all took turns as we were ready sharing our memories about my mother.  There were lots of touching stories, tears and hugs. My dad told a beautiful story of how they met and how he fell in love with her. My mother heard stories and wonderful things about her she would have never known. 

We ate casseroles and "church pot-luck" food and then had a cake shaped like a headstone.  Everyone loved the idea and my mother was very touched.  The guests gave her their stories they had written down.  I had a pretty box made for her to keep them in for when she felt unappreciated.  People left talking about who was "not dead yet" next!

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